Sick

Lost 2 lbs because of this awful cold.

New Low

Got down to 168.8. Finally feel like I am getting somewhere.

Weight 168.8
BP 118/82
Exercise 45 minutes elliptical machine.

Sunday

Weight 169.2
Exercise
BP

Finally Friday

Finally, a number under 170. Let me see if I can keep this going. As soon as the boys get off to school, I am going to work out.

Weight 169.4 Thank you
BP 103/81
Exercise 45 minutes elliptical machine

I'm about ready to give the eff up. This is ridiculous.

Weight 172 WTF
Exercise 45 minutes elliptical machine
BP 102/79 (new personal best)

Still Good

My weight is down 4 pounds just like it is supposed to be. I just wish it wasn't such a wild ride. I am very hungry. Probably from the exercise and being more aware of how I feel all the time.


Weight 170
Exercise 30 minutes elliptical machine.

Better

I guess my weight is still going to be bouncing around. Went under 170 today. Should be happier, but I don't trust it.

Weight 169.8
BP 108/84

Frustration and Tears

As I sign on here this morning I am in tears. I am really trying and not getting anywhere. My weight this morning was back up to 173. I am spiralling into the give up phase because of absolutely no results. This is killing me. I am keeping track of my calories with a calorie counting gadget from igoogle. I am tracking my effing weight. I am exercising hard every day and nothing. I am beginning to hate this body I am supposed to be taking care of. I don't know what else to do. Why work this hard if it isn't going to give me anything but frustration.

Weight 173
BP 121/87 while crying over my freaking weight.
Exercise. 45 minutes elliptical machine upper body resistance.

Up at 4:00 for some reason. Went to bed at 10:30. Maybe my body clock is resetting and turning me into a morning person which would be great.

weight 172
BP 108/79 (best yet)
Exercise 39 minutes elliptical machine.

Began using the igoogle calorie counter tool. Helps me keep track of my calories without keeping and carrying around a list. I also added a weight tracker gadget. It is giving me trouble. I acccidentally typed in 17 lbs instead of 170 and it won't let me change it. We will see what happens when I put in the correct weight tomorrow. Been eating vegetable soup or vegetable soup with just a tiny bit of meat in it. Filling and low calorie. I get to eat without breaking the calorie bank. Yeah.

Todays soup was chicken & roasted pepper. (mostly peppers, onion and celery with a little bit of shredded chicken thrown in) The base was better than bouillion

Yesterdays was vegetable Can of mixed vegetable with vegetable juice. Couldn't be easier.

Tomorrow broccoli I will make a thin white sauce with skim milk and add onion & broccoli. Maybe an itty bitty bit of cheese sprinkled on top.

weight 170.8
BP 102/87
exercise 30 minutes elliptical machine & upper body resistance

weight 171.2
exercise 36 minutes elliptical

Finally

Weight 172.2 this morning. I thought I was going to cry with relief.

Just to clear it up. I did exercise for 30 minutes on the elliptical machine on Sunday.

Weight 172.2
BP 114/95
Exercise 35 minutes elliptical machine.

This lack of weight loss is really pissing me off.

Weight 174
BP 106/84
Exercise 30 minutes elliptical machine

Monday Monday

my weight is still bouncing all over the place. Yesterday 170 today 174. I'm not going to worry about it as long as it keeps bouncing lower. Remember it did this before and was from 174 to 178 or something so at least this bounce is lower than the last one. Anyway. Working out and eating right. Wine has been put away for special occasions. Larry is on board.

Worked out with mom yesterday 24 minutes on the treadmill. 8 minutes on the elliptical machine.

I added a daily calorie counter and a weight log (which has and average thank you very much) to my igoogle page. I don't see this blog frequently throughout the day, but I use my igoogle page while I am on the internet to get to facebook, twitter and my blogs. It makes sense to have those numbers right in front of my face every day.

Weight 174.
BP 110/90
Exercise 30 minutes elliptical machine upper body weights

weight 172

Had an epiphany today. Reading an article about Maurice Sendak author and illustrator of the book "Where the Wild Things Are." He talked about the American romanticism of childhood. That is when it struck me. I was told, childhood should be idyllic. When I had to look at my real my really real childhood, and it wasn't perfect. Understand, my parents did not tell me my childhood was perfect. They were real people dealing with real issues. It is the culture. The culture says that childhood should be blissful. If this is true, then my young life must have been messed up, right? Not so, it is just life. Children, just like grownups, have real lives not all happy happy joy joy, but the real deal ups downs and sideways.

Somehow I feel much much better. Now, I've got to be more real with my boys.

Yesterday I joined a gym. Today I used it for the first time. 30 minutes on the elliptical machine was really hard, but I did it. Next week I will add in weights. Finally lost a little weight that looks real and not just fluctuations.

weight 170.8
bp 101/85
exercise 30 minutes elliptical machine.

weight 171.2
BP 106/80

Weight 171.8
BP 107/84
Exercise 30 minutes walking in the rain.

Weight 173 still.

D Day

Today is D Day. No more messing around.

weight 173.

Check up

Dr. lectured me royally today about the bad labs and my not very well controlled blood pressure. It really is much worse in the doctors office. Got the 1200 calorie diet and six day a week workout advice. Doing exactly what it is we all should do, but that most of us don't. After about a two minute walk, I jogged the remainder of fifty minutes. It was hard and I wanted to quit.

Just ate a giant plate of grilled veggies with a tiny bit of olive oil, a splash of balsamic vinegar and just a little bit of grated cheese melted on top.

I was going to the post office and decided to take a detour and see how far I have been walk/jogging. This is so sad, I have been spending 45 minutes walking/jogging 2.2 miles. Turtles could lap me.


Weight 173
BP 140/111 at Drs office freaking out
Jog 50 minutes

weight 172.6
bp 113/89